My 4 Essential Tips for Anyone Pregnant or Thinking of Getting Pregnant

When you get pregnant, everyone offers you well meaning advice. Every pregnant woman has experienced the range from coping with morning sickness to how to raise your yet unborn child. 

Personally, I generally enjoyed hearing people’s thoughts and filed away most of their comments in the very full part of my brain labeled ‘Open when Needed’. What I struggled with more were the “you will comments”. So many people told me what my body will and won’t do that eventually started correcting them, gleefully sometimes.

“The exhaustion will hit you soon.” Nope, I had loads of energy while pregnant. (Thank goodness, as the pregnancy insomnia hit me hard and is still lingering.)

“Your hair will get so thick but you will go bald afterwards.” Nope. It hasn’t fallen out either.

“The morning sickness will hit soon.” Nope. Not once. I got stuck with round ligament pain instead. (Magnesium tablets were the only thing that helped).

That said, there is a time and place for unsolicited advice, and here is mine.

1) If you can, stay active.

As mentioned, I didn’t struggle with sickness or exhaustion during my pregnancy and was able to exercise throughout as a result. This is definitely the single best thing I did for myself while pregnant, and I reaped the benefits both during and after the birth.

I did light workouts 5-6 times a week until my 38th week, including 2-3 runs a week until week 24. After that the runs downgraded to brisk walks. I highly recommend Glowbody PT’s free, pregnancy safe workout programme. I am doing the post pregnancy plan too.

2) If you are going the natural birth route, psych yourself up for it, but also accept that it might not happen.

Although I was preparing my body physically for natural birth, I had a lot of fear around what could go wrong and wasn’t preparing my mind. I believe strongly in the body mind connection, and think this is part of the reason why my labour didn’t progress. I was induced a few days early but didn’t dilate much so ended up with a C-Section. I am comfortable with how my birth ended, but know of many woman who become very attached to a certain birth plan and end up disappointed and traumatized afterwards. Many women in SA are pushed into C-Sections and our rate remains one of the highest in the world. I believe that it is good to advocate for yourself and have a plan. But also accept that things might not go the way you intended and be open to that. That said, C-Section recovery is NOT for sissies.

3) Breastfeeding is hard. Get help if you are struggling.

The one thing that I was told the most is that breastfeeding is hard. They were right. It’s so hard. There was pain, frustration and tears. I am so grateful for the many warnings. I was expecting it to be difficult, and so got help immediately which set me on the right path. I never would have stuck it out without the professional help and support from friends. You are not a failure if you can’t breastfeed immediately. Get help.

4) Don’t feel obliged to accept childcare advice from anyone (including me).

Although comments and advice are generally well intended, you aren’t obliged to listen to everyone’s opinion. This is especially true on controversial topics like sleep and feeding, where medical advice has changed in recent decades (No, you cannot spoil a baby by showering them with attention and going to them every time they cry). My favourite sources of knowledge are 1) Respected medical/psychological experts and 2) The many friends who have had children recently and have answered my frantic first time mom questions at the drop of a hat (you know who you are. I love you all).

What is the one piece of advice that you would give a soon to be first time mom? Comment below!